The Power of Silence: Minister's Warning to Women about Arguments with Husbands

Uju Kennedy-Ohaneye, the Minister for Women Affairs, delivered a poignant message to women nationwide, urging them to refrain from arguing or confronting their husbands at home.

Speaking at a Conference of Commissioners of State Ministries of Women Affairs in Nigeria in Abuja, the minister emphasized the importance of maintaining peace within the household to prevent escalating conflicts that could result in physical harm or even fatalities.

Addressing the audience gathered at the conference organized by the Rule of Law and Anti-Corruption (RoLAC) Phase II Programme, funded by the European Union through the International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance (International IDEA), Kennedy-Ohaneye stressed the significant role women play in fostering a peaceful home environment.

She advised women to exercise restraint during verbal altercations, emphasizing the potential dangers of retaliatory actions. “Keep your mouth shut,” she urged, highlighting that responding to verbal provocations often leads to negative outcomes, including violence and the upbringing of troubled children.

The minister encouraged women to adopt a patient approach during conflicts, suggesting that silence and composure can often defuse tense situations. She emphasized the importance of assessing the character of one’s spouse, noting that a good man would eventually apologize for his behaviour.

Highlighting the need for legislative measures to address gender-based violence, Kennedy-Ohaneye called for the establishment of mobile courts to expedite the trial of such offences. She expressed her commitment, along with the commissioners, to advocate for enacting laws to protect women’s rights and ensure swift justice for perpetrators.

Additionally, the minister announced plans to launch an integrity group tasked with overseeing the proper utilization of funds allocated for women’s empowerment initiatives. She emphasized the necessity of accountability in managing donor funds, expressing concern that current practices may not align with the intended objectives of uplifting women in the country.

The minister’s words come at a crucial time when domestic conflicts and disputes are unfortunately all too common. In many households, disagreements between spouses can quickly escalate into heated arguments, leading to emotional distress, damaged relationships, and even physical harm. Recognizing this alarming trend, Kennedy-Ohaneye has taken a proactive stance in advocating for a more peaceful and harmonious approach to marital conflicts.

Central to Kennedy-Ohaneye’s message is the acknowledgment of women’s significant role in shaping the dynamics of the home environment. As primary caregivers and nurturers within the family unit, women possess a unique ability to influence the atmosphere within their households. By promoting understanding, empathy, and effective communication, they can help foster an environment of mutual respect and cooperation.

However, the minister also acknowledges the challenges that women may face in navigating disagreements with their spouses. In many cases, societal norms and expectations place undue pressure on women to prioritize the needs and desires of their husbands above their own. This imbalance of power can contribute to feelings of frustration, resentment, and helplessness, further exacerbating tensions within the relationship.

Kennedy-Ohaneye’s advice to women is not about submission or capitulation but rather about exercising wisdom and restraint in the face of conflict. By choosing to remain silent during heated moments, women can de-escalate situations and prevent potentially harmful outcomes. This does not imply passivity or acquiescence but rather a strategic decision to prioritize the long-term well-being of both parties involved.

Furthermore, Kennedy-Ohaneye underscores the importance of seeking alternative methods of conflict resolution, such as dialogue, mediation, or counseling. Rather than resorting to verbal or physical aggression, couples are encouraged to engage in constructive discussions aimed at addressing underlying issues and finding mutually acceptable solutions. This requires a willingness to listen, compromise, and empathize with one another’s perspectives.

Importantly, the minister’s message is not intended to absolve husbands of their responsibility in maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship. Instead, it serves as a reminder to both partners of the shared commitment to building a strong and resilient marriage based on mutual love, trust, and understanding. In this regard, men are encouraged to actively participate in creating an environment where open communication and conflict resolution can thrive.

Uju Kennedy-Ohaneye’s warning to women about arguments with husbands carries profound implications for the well-being of families across the nation. By advocating for the power of silence and restraint in moments of conflict, the minister highlights the importance of fostering peace, harmony, and mutual respect within the household. As individuals and as a society, we must heed her call to prioritize dialogue, understanding, and empathy in our relationships, thereby building stronger and more resilient families for generations to come.